Parent Support Group

Print PDF

SENG-Model Parent Support Group for Parents of Bright, Gifted or Talented Children

A SENG-Model Parent Support group is a short-term guided discussion group to learn help parents learn about the social and emotional needs of bright/gifted/talented children, and the parenting issues related to those needs. The emphasis is on positive aspects of parenting, avoiding power struggles, and helping these children learn appropriate life skills while enhancing the parent/child relationship. Topics include: Identification/Characteristics, Parent Relationships, Sibling Relationships, Communication of Feelings, Stress Management, Depression, Motivation, Tradition Breaking, Peer Relationships, and Discipline

To be added to a “SENG Interested” contact list and receive notices of new groups forming in Utah, email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . For more information on SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of Gifted) see www.sengifted.org

OBJECTIVES OF SENG MODEL GUIDED PARENT DISCUSSION GROUPS

  1. Increase the awareness of parents that high-ability children and their families have special emotional needs.
  2. Develop parenting skills in nurturing emotional development of high-ability children and their families.
  3. Provide parents material promoting understanding of:
    • Characteristics of high potential children;
    • Programs and opportunities for talented children;
    • Books and professional organization in the field of the talented;
    • Referrals for more in-depth professional assistance.
  4. Establish an environment where parents of high-ability children can interact with other parents and with trained leaders to receive support, guidance, and professional advice.
  5. Encourage appropriate parent involvement with, and support of, appropriate educational opportunities.
SENG-Model Parent Support Group Week 1
Identification:  Tests & Characteristics
Chapters 1-3, 
Guiding the Gifted Child by Webb, Meckstroth and Tolan
What Is Gifted?
  • Characteristics of gifted children can be quite diverse.
  • Terms "gifted," "talented," "high potential"
  • Intelligence is not the same thing as achievement
  • Styles of learning ("right brain/left brain")
  • Different methods of measuring potential, intelligence and achievement
  • School screening and identification plans (they may overlook some children)
  • What I.Q. tests do (and do not) tell (multiple intelligences)
  • Obtaining Assessment (including a second opinion)
Helpful Information
SENG-Model Parent Support Group Week 2
Motivation & Discipline
Chapters 4 & 5, 
Guiding the Gifted Child by Webb, Meckstroth and Tolan
Motivation
  • Start where the child is; transfer motivations
  • Successive successes; anticipatory praise
  • Recognize the child’s needs; goal-setting
  • Encouragement, not criticism (avoid sarcasm/ridicule)
  • Importance of personal relationships
  • Special time/special place
  • Frequency of praise is more important than amount or duration
Discipline
  • Discipline and limits are needed for all children
  • We set limits because we care
  • Discipline is different than punishment
  • Avoid "no-win" struggles, nagging, "referential" speaking
  • Encourage choices to develop self-esteem
  • Ensure that choices are within limits
  • Seek self-discipline
  • Catch the child doing something right in self-discipline
  • Frequency of consequences is more important than severity
  • Use natural consequences where possible
  • Limits that are set must be enforceable
  • Avoid harsh, inconsistent punishment
Handouts
SENG-Model Parent Support Group Week 3
Stress Management & Communication of Feelings
Chapters 6 & 7, 
Guiding the Gifted Child by Webb, Meckstroth and Tolan
Stress Management
  • Some stress (challenge) is desirable; learn to manage it
  • What causes stress is self-talk
  • Blame and irrational beliefs leave us helpless
  • Importance of balancing self-talk; "bookkeeping error"
  • Perfectionism (idealism to an excess)
  • Importance of parents modeling positive self-talk
  • Don’t teach stress management skills during crisis times
  • Immediate calming techniques (HALT – hungry, angry, lonely, tired); teaching meditation
  • Using humor to induce perspective
  • Socratic method of teaching (e.g., "How awful is it?")
  • How we manage our own self-talk
Communication of Feelings
  • Communication cannot be forced; create the climate
  • Active listening is communicating
  • Accept the feelings (though not necessarily the behavior)
  • Avoid "killer statements"
  • Modeling a relationship; "I" statements ("When you…I…")
  • Barriers to communication (fast pace of life, television, newspapers, computers, etc.)
  • Self-disclosure begets self-disclosure
  • Special times and special places enhance communication
Emotional temperature readings
Helpful Information
SENG-Model Parent Support Group Week 4
Peer Relationships & Sibling Relationships
Chapters 8 & 9, 
Guiding the Gifted Child by Webb, Meckstroth and Tolan
Peer Relationships
  • Who are peers? Peers in what area?
  • Several different peer groups are often needed
  • Many friends or few? How many real friends do we have as adults?
  • Special friendships are often intense
  • Bright children have high expectations; may lack tolerance for others
  • Leadership or bossiness? Teaching leadership skills
  • Use role-playing to enhance understanding
  • Time alone versus time with others; eminence requires time alone
  • Is time a lone by choice or due to lack of skills?
  • Peer pressure at different ages (including peer pressure on adults)
  • Self-directedness and self-confidence help one withstand peer pressure
Sibling Relationships/Rivalry
  • Kids rival for something, usually attention
  • Importance of birth order (oldest, youngest, middle) roles
  • Children adopt characteristic roles, seldom compete
  • Important to help children expand their roles and to promote role overlap
  • "Either/or" concepts of giftedness; "if he is, I’m not;" negative comparisons
  • Competition/rivaling versus sibling synergy
  • Parents remove themselves from squabbles
  • Take the "sail out of the wind"
Helpful Information
SENG-Model Parent Support Group Week 5
Tradition Breaking & Depression
Chapters 10 & 11, 
Guiding the Gifted Child by Webb, Meckstroth and Tolan
Tradition Breaking
  • Bright, creative children question traditions, rituals, rules
  • Creativity always implies being non-traditional
  • Breaking traditions always has a price tag
  • Kohlberg’s stages of moral development; more advanced is less traditional
  • Traditions have a value (but can be overly binding)
  • Traditions promote belongingness and predictable behaviors; tap root
  • Family traditions; sense of sanctuary
  • Importance of creating our own traditions starting now
  • What we model for our children in tradition breaking
Depression
  • Re-label depression as anger; inward or frustrated anger
  • Depression as self-blame ("hair shirt"); negative self-talk
  • Cannot argue people out of depression
  • Avoid "Pollyanna cheerleader" or belittling of their feelings
  • Existential depression; meaning in life
  • Importance of relationships and of physical touch
  • Evaluating seriousness; considering suicide
  • When and how to refer; getting professional help
Helpful Information
SENG-Model Parent Support Group Week 6
Parent Relationships & Adult Gifted
Chapter 12, 
Guiding the Gifted Child by Webb, Meckstroth and Tolan
Parent Relationships
  • Stresses of parenting; setting parental priorities
  • Reacting to the urgent rather than the important
  • Special time for parents; recharging your own batteries
  • Dual parent, single parent, step-parent issues; difficulties in blending families
  • Importance of having house rules
  • Need for communication and consistency (family huddle)
  • Super-parent versus reality
Adult Gifted
  • The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
Helpful Information
From seng website: www.sengifted.org

Objectives of SENG Model Parent Groups
Establish an environment in which facilitators provide support and guidance, so parents of talented children can interact and learn from each other.
Increase parents’ awareness that talented children and their families have special emotional needs.
Develop parenting skills for nurturing the emotional development of talented children.
Provide parents with materials to enhance understanding of:
  • Characteristics of high potential children.
  • Programs and opportunities for talented children.
  • Relevant books and professional organizations.
  • Referrals for more in-depth professional assistance.
  • Encourage parent involvement in and support of appropriate educational opportunities.
(Gifted Parent Groups: The SENG Model, 2nd Edition, 2007, p. 6)